Musings about creating lasting change: Behavior, Habits, and Identity

A key element of personal improvement is change. I think it's fair to say that most of us would like to see some drastic change in our lives. We can quite often see so easily where we lack and have a blind spot to the good we have in us, and yet paradoxically we often seem to have a self-protective mechanism that is also blind to areas that really need improvement that likely helps keep us from feeling wholly inadequate to exist and function in the world.

I've been a student of behavior change for years, seeking out ways to help my clients see the results they were after as a fitness professional. I'd taken courses on behavior change and found great success for those I helped using small incremental change which would compound into large amazing change over time. I still love this methodology and will likely always see the power of 'small and simple things' bringing about great things. This seems to be well established now with the success of such well-known programs as BJ Fogg's Tiny Habits and James Clear's Atomic Habits. 

Recently, I've also been ruminating in my mind over the idea of the power of self-perception to dictate our behaviors. For instance, if offered a cigarette the reply is, "No thanks, I'm trying to quit" or, "No, I don't smoke" - which seems more likely to predict success in continually avoiding smoking? The first reply suggests someone who identifies as a smoker and is "trying" hard to use will power to go against the nature they believe themselves to have, while the latter response is that of someone who does not identify with smoking and therefore avoiding smoking is easy as it naturally supports their self-identity. I find that this resonates well with the statement Jesus made that as a man thinketh in his heart so is he. In the Book of Mormon we read about the Nephites who upon hearing the words of King Benjamin declared that they had experienced a mighty change in their hearts and had no more disposition to do that which was against the will of the Lord. What a powerful way to change from the inside quickly as opposed to carefully crafting new habits over time.

However, it won't do any good to use self-deceit and simply say, "I'm lean and athletic" when the reality is that this person is an overweight and sedentary individual. Without some wins showcasing the lean and athletic identity they may want, telling themselves they are something they are not would seemingly just erode trust in themselves. So a change of identity needs to be real. I see lasting change happening in both directions, actions becoming patterns that reinforce an identity, or an identity indelibly imprinted by the power of the spirit being born again as a new person. Possibly these can even be intertwined into the concept of one eternal round where identity leads to behavior which leads to identity and so on it goes.